i dreamed of a place last night
the strangest dream I ever had
where all the bad people were good
and all the good people were bad
I dreamed I was in a courtroom
of shiny paneled wood
i was tied to an old oak tree
accused of doing good
the judge sat high above me
with horns upon his head
adolf hitler was my lawyer
and all the jurors were dead
the judge asked me how i pleaded
to trying to do right
and as i opened my mouth to speak
i beheld a terrible sight
the gallery was filled with angels
with burnt and blackened wings
their golden harps were melted
and they could not pluck the strings
a witness then was summoned
to give evidence to my fate
’twas none other than st peter
who had abandoned heaven’s gate
what say you, saintly wise man
asked satan from the bench
as he waved a ten pound hammer
which in his fist he clenched
his eyebrows fairly sizzled
and his lip was sneering curled
what say you of this specimen
who wished to save the world?
what say you to this sorry cuss
who challenged my dominion
who thought eternal damnation
was just someone’s opinion?
have pity, lord of darkness
the sad eyed sage appealed
and his white beard it did flutter
as before the fiend he kneeled
he is only a poor human
incapable of thought
and the lessons life has taught him
i guess he just forgot
the demon roared wth laughter
as he brought his hammer down
a noose was placed around my neck
and on my head a crown
and on the crown was set a stage
on which a play was playing
my old dog ran across a field
to join my poor old mother praying
a serpent slithered through the grass
king arthur raised his sword
jesse james threw me a lousy dime
it was all he could afford
william mckinley and wyatt earp
raised their voices in a hymn
and i thought i saw abe lincoln
but it was only railroad slim
i awoke upon a green park bench
with rain upon my face
and all the players in the dream
were gone without a trace