Tuesday, March 27, 2012

in the dark





lift a glass and raise a cheer
to the stuffy bankers of yesteryear
the snooty dowagers, the butlers stiff
the girls named josie, and the guys named cliff

the cop on the beat, with his face so red,
the bookie with his hat tipped just right on his head
the cabbies, the waiters, the hat check girls
the saucy debutantes tossing their curls

the windbag senator, the girl reporter
commissioner johnson and mayor mcwhorter
newsboys, shoe shine boys, cracking wise
all right - break it up, you guys

the playboy spending grandfather's dough
chester - you should invest in our show
i'll get back to you on that, sweetheart
aw come on - all i need is a start

abbie the tailor - his cobbler pal moe
watch through their windows - the whole city on the go
you call that a suit - you call that a hat?
i can do you much better than that

the sky's the limit - it's looking good
if they could see me in the old neighborhood
standing on the corner with benny the dip
just before he gives me a tip

on the fifth horse in the seventh race
how did i ever come to this place?
trying to get the big story?
trying to cover myself with glory?

don't send me again to the debutantes dance
please, muggsy, won't you give me a chance
this story is just about to get hotter
and i can blow it right out of the water

i know the story is pretty tangled
but hey - i got an angle
the cops are doing it by the book
but i think i see something they overlooked

there's never been a story like this before
with horror you'll gasp, with laughter you'll roar
your mouth will fly open, with delight you will squeal
when it all comes together in the last reel




Sunday, March 4, 2012

jewelry





no doubt, gerald,
you will say that
the devil made you do it

no, aunt ,
the devil didn't
make me do it

nor did i succumb
to a sudden impulse
or ungovernable passion -

i did not need
the money
and was not playing

a prank
or being initiated
into a secret society

i was not
making a statement
about the modern world

or being
lured to my doom
by an evil, scheming woman

i had no plans
to travel to china
or tahiti

no, i stole your
jewelry
for one reason only -

because i am
totally, irredeemably
corrupt -

outside

on park avenue and 89th street

the wind
tested the leaves of a london plane tree






Thursday, February 23, 2012

page from a notebook





0. the essence of the thing is the thing itself.

1. sense escapes. the thing is left behind.

2. the former expansion of the essence surrounds the thing.

3. the expanded essence is the word.

4. a collision of expanded essences is an affair.

5. affairs are remembered.

6. what is remembered is an affair.

7. the escaped essence leaves the expansion behind, guarding the thing.

8. the thing growls menacingly at the expansion.

9. the escaped essence flies away, laughing.

10. laughter is an affair whose essence has escaped.

11. a thing whose essence has attempted to escape is a laughing matter.

12. but the essence of the thing, which is the thing itself, is no laughing matter.

13. an affair that is no laughing matter is a tough crowd.

14. the essence of the thing is a tough crowd.

15. a crowd with an escaped essence is tough.


Monday, January 30, 2012

reunion in the rain



when you're lost in the rain in a back road in tennessee
on christmas eve in nineteen forty-three
and you see a light in the trees just up ahead
and you wonder if you really wouldn't be better off dead

and you push through the broken general store screen door
the first thing you see is a leg sticking out on the floor
and pappy looks up with a smile in his whiskers white
and asks if it ain't just been one hell of a night

this young lady here came at me with a knife
it was all i could do to snuff out her miserable life
excuse me sir while i drag her carcass outdoors
as soon as i do my time is entirely yours

you know you were here before in another life
on the run with sheriff john brown's brand new young wife
yes you escaped that time - escaped too well
did you really think they forgot you down in hell?

your eyes adjust to the smoky dismal scene
lit by a single lamp of kerosene
there's a knife on the counter, a bible and a magazine
you take a step closer - and can't hold back a scream

it's her on the cover - so dead yet so alive
you left her in laredo in nineteen and thirty-five
and her face you've carried since in your shrinking soul
like an endlessly burning diamond - or piece of coal

the magazine falls from your hand to the sawdust floor
a sudden wind blows through the opening door
it's over now - you know you're finally beat
you hear pappy say, jeff, i've got someone here i'd like you to meet...


Saturday, December 31, 2011

road to nowhere, part 1





ted williams
ted williams
ted williams

joe dimaggio
joe dimaggio
joe dimaggio

casey stengel
casey stengel
casey stengel

sparks has got headquarters on the line

alexander woolcott
alexander woolcott
adele rogers st john

george jean nathan
george jean nathan
jack dempsey

titanic
underworld
versailles

titanic
underworld
versailles

jewel thief
jewel thief
monaco

nice
nice
st tropez

uncle remus
thorstein veblen
henry david thoreau

uncle remus
thorstein veblen
henry david thoreau

clarence darrow
amelia earhart
george jean nathan

top of the empire state building
statue of liberty
knute rockne

jim thorpe
jesse owens
joe dimaggio

tell headquarters i'll call them back

woodrow wilson
charles g dawes
frances farmer

babe ruth
babe ruth
babe ruth

ty cobb
ty cobb
ty cobb

shoeless joe jackson
shoeless joe jackson
john mcgraw

jack johnson
amelia earhart
w somerset maugham

khyber pass
good shooting
drums in the night

noel coward
noel coward
w somerset maugham

ronald firbank
nancy mitford
louis-ferdinand celine

rogers hornsby
rogers hornsby
rabandrinath tagore

i'm afraid i don't know these people

they fell in the river and the crocodiles ate them
orson welles
ted williams

orson welles
joseph cotten
alfred hitchcock

dorothy parker
dorothy parker
dorothy parker

billy, i'm shocked, i had no idea you knew so much

clemenceau
clemenceau
charles g dawes

they laughed when i sat down at the piano
arthur murray taught me dancing in a hurry
i love my wife but oh you kid

lucky lindy
lucky lindy
amelia earheart





Tuesday, November 29, 2011

untitled

i wrote a poem to pass the time
it didn't scan and it didn't rhyme
i had absolutely nothing to say
but i went and wrote it anyway

i thought it turned out kind of nice
i looked it over once or twice
i finished it off and set it free
on wings of immortality

o little poem, boil and bubble
at least you kept me out of trouble
maybe you need a little friend
another poem - will they ever end?

the thing in the place, part 2

for part 1, click here





i had a pleasant surprise on returning to my house after my first visit to the firehouse. my housekeeper, mrs adams, presented me with a package that had been delivered in my absence - a new monograph, with copious notes and addenda, by doctor hargrave on the aboriginal burying grounds in his native dakotas. he and i had long enjoyed a friendly rivalry as to the relative antiquity of the ruins in his part of the world and my own, and i looked forwardly eagerly to studying and passing considered judgment on his newest findings.
consequently the three days passed swiftly before the date of my next scheduled visit to hank and the firehouse, and as i spent them almost entirely in my study and did not so much as look out the window, i had sadly neglected the good doctor melville's exhortations to exercise. i decided therefore to walk the three or four miles to the firehouse, rather than summon a hackney as i had on my first visit. and also save a few pennies from my all too rapidly disappearing patrimony.
i quickly regretted my decision - the day was much chillier and windier than i had first apprehended - but some unsuspected reservoir of stubbornness welling up from the depths of my being kept me from turning back.
when i was about half way to my destination i began to feel light headed, and the landscape - of unremitting fields of some crop or other - agriculture being no part of my field of study - began to take on a sinister and sneering hue not easily described. the midday sky was a loathsome bluish-gray and the crops - tall greenish-purple stalks of who knew what - seemed both to wave mockingly and be frozen in some obdurate obsidian vision of cosmic blasphemy.
a single gray cloud hid the sun.
butterfly wings of panic tickled my brain. where was i? where? what had possessed me - i , who had hardly ever gone fifty yards from my beloved study - to venture into this terrifying desolation? a desolation undreamed of in my most terrifying nightmares? and yet existing, apparently, only a few miles from the cocoon of my ancestral fortress?
you are a waterspoon, i told myself, a waterspoon. the direct descendant of the pitiless pioneers who cleared the land of its savage inhabitants, in order to stamp the impress of civilization on its flat and ungrateful face. it won't do to give in to even the appearance of effete hysteria, it won't do at all.
no vehicle had passed me in either direction as i walked the road - a road, i should mention, absolutely straight and uncontoured - nor had i seen a living person, or heard an animal or bird.
i began to feel thirsty, and even more lightheaded. i must, i thought, be only a mile from my goal. what could i do but press on.
at last - at last! - i saw a figure approaching in the distance. what relief i felt! i should mention here that i was under the impression that the farm dwellers in the neighborhood, though ignorant brutes to be sure, had at least a vestigial remnant of respect for their betters, in contrast to their degenerate cousins in the modern metropolises (with whom i had had only one terrible encounter - never, unfortunately, to be forgotten).
as the figure came closer, my blood began to run a little cold. i beheld a shambling, rawboned figure - "human" to be sure - it wore ragged clothing and a battered felt hat - but barely. the craggy face, simultaneously apish and reptilian, seemed to light up with an unholy delight on perceiving me, and i felt nought but panic as it hastened toward me, swinging its long, low-hanging arms.
"morning!" it cried. "morning there, professor!" in a voice like ice breaking in a subterranean cavern. "out for a stroll, are you? ha, ha, ha!" and it roared with laughter at this humorous sally.
with some effort i mastered my first fear. as the creature came closer i perceived that it was, after all, only a man - a hired man type of fellow of about thirty rough years. and the sobriquet of "professor" with which he greeted me, though not strictly accurate - my studies have always been maintained privately - seemed to indicate a modicum of respect.
"hey, professor, hey!" suddenly a thick walking stick seemed to materialize in his right hand and he poked me in the chest with it. as i staggered backward i heard another voice raised in laughter - the shrieking laughter of a banshee. and i perceived on the road behind the man a stunted figure which on rapidly approaching i could see was a pigtailed girl of about fifteen, in a tattered flowered dress, and with a face even more lewdly simian and reptiloid than the man's.
"uncle jack asked you a question, professor! ain't you got no manners?" and she howled with laughter as i shrank back from her hideous person.
"yes, yes," i managed to stammer, "i am out for a stroll, as you so drolly put it. a stroll into town." i controlled myself, and felt some little rage bubbling up beneath my fear.
"no need to be snickety, professor, when folks asks you polite questions." and the man poked me with the stick again, harder this time. "into town, hey?"
"yes, to the fire station to be exact. for a friendly game of checkers."
"fire station! as worthless a bunch of sons of bitches as ever there was, hey, lily?"
my fear began to return. needless to say i was not used to such rough talk as this, and in front of a young woman no less, rough-hewn as she might be. something was amiss. where was i?
"you said right, uncle jack. almost as worthless as those no good clowns as call theirselves deputy sheriffs. they friends of yours too, professor?" i now saw the girl had a stick too, and she shook it at me.
"i don't have the honor of those gentlemen's acquaintance," i replied with such composure as i could muster.
"is that right, professor?" drawled the girl. it had finally gotten through to me that in their mouths "professor" was not a term of respect at all, but intended as some sort of epithet, even insult. "gentlemen, eh? are you a gentleman, professor?"
"why of course i am a gentleman."
the girl whacked me sharply across my knee with her stick, and i cried out.
"lily, lily," laughed the man. "no need for that. he ain't said nothing to deserve that. yet." he looked up at the sky. though it was about mid day, the single dark cloud continued to hide the sun. the wind had died down. "kind of hot, eh?"
"yes, it does seem to be getting warmer."
"seems to be, seems to be. always the way with the likes of you - seems to be, hey?"
i did not know how to answer this. "yes, and i must say i could use a drink of water. though there does not seem - though i don't see any place in sight where i could find one."
"oh? look over there." the man pointed across the fields and i saw - surely i would have noticed it before if it had been there - something i can hardly describe. some kind of giant featureless mound rising from the field. but made of what? and was it a building? it had neither doors nor windows. some kind of giant growth from the depths of primordial dreams, like a colossal mushroom ? it seemed too smooth.
"what is it?" i managed to ask at last.
"well, what do you think it is?" asked the man. "it's the place."
"the place?" i replied. "and what is in the place?
the girl howled with laughter. "what do you think is in the place? ha, ha, ha! what would be in the place, do you think, but the thing? ha, ha, ha, ha!" and she whacked me with the stick again.
this time the man made no objection to her striking me. he looked into my eyes, and his own eyes seemed to change from rhinoceroid gray to cobroid green. "you've been asking questions, professor. but there are those in the place who would like to ask you questions."
the two of them fell upon me, flailing at me and driving me into the fields with their sticks. i staggered through the hideous green plants toward the "place" with them laughing and shouting behind me, and as i did i lost all dignity and began sobbing uncontrollably with fear.
the horror! the horror!