Tuesday, May 1, 2018

professor wilson's conclusion




professor wilson was putting the finishing touches on his paper when there was a knock on his study door.

it was sort of sunshiny outside, but the blinds were drawn on the windows, and the room was in shadow except for the light cast on professor wilson’s paper by the old fashioned lamp his colleagues had presented to him at a testimonial dinner a few years back.

the professor enjoyed working by the light of his testimonial lamp, but he did not like to be disturbed - a fact well known to all.

who can that be, he wondered irritably as the knocking continued.

come in, he called.

the door opened and parker and perkins, two of his youngest and most callow colleagues, entered.

professor, cried parker, something amazing has happened!

there is no need to shout, parker, professor wilson remonstrated as mildly as he was capable of. just say what you have to say.

sir, an alien space ship has just landed outside on the quad!

don’t listen to him, professor, perkins said. there is no space ship on the quad, or anywhere else in the vicinity.

professor wilson leaned back in his chair. he took his glasses off his face and twirled them in his left hand.

it seems we have a problem, gentlemen, he announced. one of you says a space ship has landed on the green grass outside, the other says no such thing has happened. you can not both be right. let me think.

the professor, still twirling his glasses, stared at parker and perkins.

i have known you both a long time, he said. actually he had only known them for about a year, as they were his youngest and most callow colleagues.

you, perkins, though you made no great impression on me at first, i have always found to be respectful at least, and willing to learn, and to learn from your mistakes. i particularly remember your conduct at the dean’s autumn dinner, when dr marchmont’s wife made her series of abysmal disclosures, and i thought, that young fellow can keep a cool head at least.

and i thought your most recent paper showed, if not exactly anything that could be called promise, at least a decent concern for proper procedure.

you, parker, have not made so favorable an impression even as that. i have found you the particular type of cringing little toady that i had thought the modern world, whatever else might be said of it, and with its relentless and tiresome glorification of disrespect, had dispensed with. i have always found you quick to agree, and slow to comprehend. i also recall that there was some consideration, at your last review, as to whether you had always properly documented your sources.

from all this i have decided to believe you, perkins, rather than parker, and i conclude, therefore, that were is in fact no alien space ship on the lawn of the quad. good day, gentlemen.

parker and perkins left, closing the door gently behind them.

*

what do you think of the way professor wilson handled the situation? do you think he came to the right conclusion, given the evidence at his disposal?

do you think he might have found some surer, more effective way of determining if a space ship had landed on the quad?



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